CHILDHOOD TRAUMAS
Emotional trauma is like a knot that forms at a certain moment when we experience something very painful.
Since our brain can’t process it, we get stuck in that moment, and a schema forms within us. It’s a pattern of thinking and behaviour that we will use to protect ourselves, so that we don’t have to face the same pain ever again.
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There can be many different behaviour patterns (schemas)...
- Feeling that you're alone, that nobody actually cares about you.
- Avoiding close relationships and trying to isolate yourself from the world, but at the same time feeling lonely and unnecessary.
- Clinging to a partner and living in a constant fear that one day they will leave.
- Constantly suppressing your pain and emotions until eventually everything builds up and leads to complete apathy towards life.
- Distrusting people, thinking that everyone always lies, and keeping your distance from them.
- Avoiding conflicts and abandoning your own needs and opinions.
- Relying on others' opinions, inability to trust yourself, and constant fear of making a mistake.
- A constant feeling of shame, a feeling that you’re not good enough, and inability to accept yourself.
- Feeling better than others.
- Constant feeling of unhappiness and powerlessness (feeling that nothing depends on you and that you can’t change anything).
- A constant fear that something bad will happen. Avoiding joy and worrying that if you do enjoy something, that joy will be taken away from you.
- Punishing yourself and believing that those who don’t meet the image of a “good person” should also be punished.
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It comes from unfulfilled childhood needs, form feeling neglected, being criticised, overly protected, rejected, or, in other words, being hurt in some way.
Depending on whether these needs are met or not, they create a picture of how we see ourselves and the world. Over time, it becomes a part of us, and we simply don’t know how to live any other way."
So we continue to create the same situations where the same feelings repeat, where inappropriate behaviour towards us continues, or where we are unable to get what we desire the most.
This is how trauma works. It shapes our reality. But it doesn’t have to be with you for the rest of your life. It can be resolved.
Once you understand your own schemas, once you know where certain feelings come from and how does it make you behave - you gain the ability to choose whether such behaviour suits us, and if it doesn't, you can change it.
Once the old patterns break, we begin to create new actions that build a completely different future for us.
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1h 35min Video
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